When Life Gives You Lemons, Be a Bird
by Jacal Ste. Worme
Summary: Bonnie tries animism, stalks the wrong/right person and gets caught. What the hell is going to happen now? T for language and possible adult situations...
1. Chapter 1

**AN:** Found this in my Bamon folder, and I thought, why the hell not. Lost my muse, but need to write. Sincerely for shits and giggles.

Happy reading. ;)

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><p>One morning, Bonnie wakes up with the strangest idea in her head:<p>

She's had enough.

And she wasn't high or drunk. She was, however, tired.

She's had _enough_.

She's had enough of life. Enough of the the endless fighting with the 'bad guys', the ones who were always trying to hurt Elena. And on rare occasions, the ones who wanted her for all the wrong reasons.

So she decided that she was going to be a bird.

And not just any ordinary bird, but a badass Bald Eagle, no-bad-hair-days, goat-snatching predator, and the motherfucking national bird of her country. Hell _yes_.

But flying around in that form would elicit unwanted attention, after all, Mystic Falls, Virginia wasn't particularly the Bald Eagle's habitat. Worse, paranoid supernaturals would most likely suspect her form to be another homicidal vampire with a bag of tricks up her sleeve. Fucking idiots.

So she settled being a green hummingbird. She found it on a random search on Google and decided it was better than an overkill goddamned Bald Eagle (maybe some other day).

And everything had been going well for Bonnie as she flew across the city, hearing that old Creed song playing in her head, 'I'm free... I'm careless, I believe..._ Above all the others... _I'll_ fly... This brings tears to my (beady) eyes... My sacrifice..._' Those were actually the words she used for her spell, and her sacrifice was what you would call minimal... And everything had been going well, up until she let her curiosity tickle her tail feathers.

Spying on Damon was so not on the agenda.

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><p><em>So this was how he spends his afternoons<em>, Bonnie thought to herself, quite surprised. Said vampire sat on that all too familiar leather duvet in their living room, reading a book. Bird-Bonnie tilts her small, yet not-so-brainless head to get a better view of the title that kept him immersed like a scholar. Her eyes ached to roll when she saw the full title: **1001 Sex Positions NOT YET in the Kamasutra!** by Jack St. Worthington.

For the record, Bonnie just wanted to make sure that one of the major threats to Mystic Falls was behaving himself. Klaus and the gang were minding their own business as of late and her mother only made her human heart ache. So she settled for Damon, the self-proclaimed fallback/second choice. Other than that, everyone was at school or working, and he was the only one around who looked interesting (gorgeous) enough to stalk (oh what has become of her, ha!). Besides, they were friends. Sorta.

Oh if only she brought her phone with her and took a picture of this awesome blackmail material! Who knew that the handsome fiend still needed a book to satisfy women? Seriously. Fucking. Hilarious.

With a mental chuckle, Bonnie decided to finally leave the innocent-looking douchebag alone. As she angled her head up the fluffy batch of cotton candy clouds, she readied to flap her little pair of wings for flight, when suddenly, her feathered-body was suddenly held immobile by slightly clammy-cold skin. Her birdy senses tingle; she freaks.

The awkward coldness reminded her of something familiar.

_Damon._

Fearfully, Bonnie craned her fragile neck upwards and saw an even bluer version of the sky beyond. His orbs weren't the peaceful skies; they reminded her of raging seas that engulfed the fuck out of you. Those eyes that on Monday, can make you wet down south till Sunday. For a moment, Bonnie thought she saw fondness shining in his cerulean eyes, but it was suddenly replaced by plain amusement.

_From Damon to damn. _

_Damn._

Stupid Cheshire grin on his lips, Damon said casually, "I've always wanted my very own little bird..."

_You've got to be fucking kidding me._

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><p><strong>AN:<strong> As a famous writer said on her Facebook status, yay or neigh? Significant number of reviews will result in a quick update. That shit is fuel to the fire. :)


	2. Chapter 2

**AN:** Thanks for the reviews, guys. :)

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><p>Bonnie hated Twitter. It's ironic that for the last couple of minutes –which felt like hours on her end, that all she had been doing was <em>tweet<em>. Had she been able to talk, Damon would have been surprised that all she was saying was 'LET ME THE FUCK OUT' in five different languages. _But_ _oh yeah_, she remembered. _I'm a fucking humming bird for crying out loud. Rumored sex-machine might even be pleased I'm 'singing' for him. Fucker. _

Bonnie would have schemed her escape if it weren't for her rumbling insides. Damn she was hungry. That was suddenly all she could think about. All other thoughts were like bubbles in her head. Appear, disappear.

**Food. **

**Need. **

**To.**

**Eat. **

_Damn bird brain. At least I can eat more than I weigh for the first time in my life,_ she thought momentarily.

The cage suddenly didn't feel so bad.

_The fuck. I'm in a cage!_ Bonnie cried to herself in terror. She tried the best she could to glare at Damon. Maybe he really _did_ want to keep a pet bird, because a normal person wouldn't keep a birdcage in the house for emergencies.

**Food**.

**Need**.

**Food**.

_I'm hungry, damn!_ Bonnie's little belly ached. All her anger popped away when a cup of bird-seeds were suddenly placed in front of her. At first she huffed to herself, _no berries, fuuuuuu…! _But her stomach grumbled, and the next thing she knew, her beak was buried deep in the mound of seeds.

_A bird pigging herself out. Great. But screw logic, I'm starving!_

As she stuffed herself, uncaring if the now-intimidating-vampire stared at her, she barely recognized the new person who strolled in the living room. All she could hear was muffled voices and the crunch of the seeds in her skull. _YUM._

"You're not seriously keeping that, are you?"

"You're not seriously keeping that, are you?" Damon repeated, mimicking Elena's voice with a grim expression on his face. He locked the birdcage, rolled his eyes. "It's _my_ house. I can do whatever the fuck I want, Miss Gilbert." When she gives him that slightly annoying girly pout –the one that reminded him she was still just 17, he gave her a condescending smile. "I have the power to revoke your invitation, especially now that Stefan is gone."

"Very funny, but," Elena said, and openly glared at him. "Sadly, I'm not a vampire and I have a key." If Damon wasn't hot, she probably would have stuck her tongue out at him too.

_Oh right,_ Bonnie chimed in thought, having had her half fill of food. From what she recalled from Elena's sad voice mails, Stefan was out to look for a witch who could give him an antidote to help him with his intense blood cravings. She was the one initially set to help him, but unfortunately, she had locked herself up at home the entire weekend.

Bonnie snapped her beak shut in remembrance and annoyance. Sometimes, her 'friends' were just _overly_ dramatic. Couldn't they have just waited a few more days until she was ready? Was leaving _really_ necessary to make a scene? And of course, Elena only left those friggin' voice mails to give her some sort of guilt trip… Or maybe…

**SEEDS**. Nom, nom, nom…

"I think we have hidden cameras everywhere because I swear, our lives are like an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer meets Twilight meets True Blood." Damon gently lifted the cage off the end table and pressed it against his belly. He narrowed his eyes at Elena. "I only inserted Twilight in there so you can relate."

"Why are you being so annoying, Damon?" Elena asked with a frown.

"Why are you even here?" Damon bit back. "Lock the door when you leave."

"Oh I'll leave alright!" Elena barked as he left the living room.

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><p>Damon sighed loudly as he entered his room. He placed the cage on his bedside table and sat on the bed. He leaned closer and smiled. "Take it slow, Little Bird. All the seeds are yours." He chuckled when the bird regarded him with a tweet. From his eyes, the Little Bird flapped its wings, probably trying to rid itself from the dust of seeds that it accumulated from its feast.<p>

"You're a strange one," Damon whispered, watching the green creature intently.

Bonnie tweets for effect. Because she might look like a satisfied pet bird on the outside, but now that her hunger was sated and her human psyche was working again, she was starting to feel tingles –from either fear or excitement. Who wouldn't? She was trapped. Irony was her muse today, it seems. Because didn't she do this for _freedom_? And now she was in a fucking beautiful cage, being ogled by this enticing creature of the night, and honestly, she felt like he was seeing through her green feathers, like he was seeing her true, naked form. Thankfully, birds didn't have protruding sexual organs, because those eyes, damn it -it made her glands swell.

Simply said, her whole 'freedom day' backfired on her like surprise butt sex –not that she experienced that yet…

Bonnie tried to look busy, tried to look like she was busy 'cleaning' herself. She sipped water. Pecked on the little yellow shells of the seeds off her feathers. Hell, she even tried looking at her little bad-ass looking talons. She did all of these things without looking up, because if she did… she might start pooping all over the place. She tweeted nervously. _Damn._

"So I was thinking, Little Bird," Damon's voice reverberated around her cage suddenly, making her jump in the process. "Should I bring over a blonde or a redhead tonight?"

All of a sudden, Bonnie felt like she was constipated. Or her little birdy intestines were enflamed. It was probably her bladder, but she unintentionally peed a few minutes ago. Because this she didn't want to see. It was bad enough that she was _CAGED_ for crying out loud –she didn't want to see Damon fuck some random bimbo on her day off! She wanted to pluck his eyeballs from his skull, which was a normal instinct for her, bird or human form.

Damon laughed. "I just need to feed a little." He winked at her, looked away, and suddenly thrust his face an inch to the cage with a semi-loud voice, "I'm a vampire, RAWR!"

If her talons weren't clutched on the little swing where she was perched, Bonnie might have fallen backwards out of shock. Her heart hammered wildly in her bird body and for a moment she thought Damon showed her his gameface, but all that she saw was his God-sent features. _Seriously, this guy has issues..._

"I would want to go out and get me a sexy snack, but you're too precious to be left alone," Damon said casually. He makes a sad face, a fake one. "So I'll just go change."

_Finally_, she inwardly breathed. _He'll leave me alone…_ Her thoughts trailed off when his eyes were suddenly replaced by the vision of his silver belt buckle. Bonnie gulped. _No. No. No. This is wrong!_ If her bird eyes could get larger, they would have, especially when his lean fingers took care of that buckle, and on another breath, the shirt came off… _ABS, ABS… PECS… Oh…_ And then all she could see was his treasure trail… _That mouth-watering V that meant so much promise to any woman who…_

_What in the name of Lilith am I thinking!_ Bonnie reprimanded herself. She looked away, but not before glaring up at Damon, who she found smirking for some reason.

"Enjoying the show, Little Bird?"

_At least get the fuck out of the room, Salvatore!_

"But where's the fun in that…" Damon grins at her. _"Bennett?"_

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><p><strong>AN:<strong> Reviews are very much welcome. :D


	3. Chapter 3

**AN:** You guys have been awesome! Happy reading! :D

Chapter dedicated to LL. This is for you, for the meantime. :)

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><p>"But where's the fun in that... <em>Bennett<em>?"

Damon smiled languorously at her, that sexy expression on his face highly infectious. "I knew I could get your attention with that sex book." He trailed his fingers down the column of perfect abs, and slid an entire hand inside his dark jeans. He looked like he gave himself a squeeze because he groaned in relief, but he withdrew his hand again. "You've got no choice but to watch me, baby."

Bonnie found it hard to avert her eyes from the picturesque physique of this self-absorbed sex maniac.

**MUST PROCREATE.**

_Bird brain,_ Bonnie reminded herself in panic. _That was the bird brain talking. _

"Animism can be so much fun, right?" Damon snickered and plopped down on the bed. "I know I've had my viewing pleasure of you, Bonnie…" He winked at her. "So consider this my gift to you."

Bonnie felt like she was in heat, but somehow, she's got the feeling like he wasn't even talking to her anymore, because he continued to rambled on.

_Wait, what?_

He actually stalked _her_ before?

"As fun as that was, it's also fun talking to you like this, Little B," Damon said, his tone happy and resigned. "You're not batty –although there's this possibility you're furious in there, but at least you're not too vocal about it. Ha!" He chuckles to himself, and his voice is bordering sleepy now. "Ah, Bonnie… there are times when I just…" His left arm covered his eyes, his right hand creeping its way back to his trousers. "As much as we argue about everything…" By now, his breath had become deep, a bit labored. "You actually listen to me. It's like we just bicker for the audience…"

_And I thought E… _Katherine_ was the attention whore. _Bonnie tried to keep her eyes away from the way he's making the tent in his pants even larger by the second. Effort failed; she was glued to it like a chocolate addiction before her period.

"Mmmm…" he moaned. "But it's always fun to get on your nerves…" Damon kept his gaze on the ceiling now, clearly deep in concentration. His voice was a bit breathless too. "No wonder… you're using all that anger to… express all your sexual frustrations for me…"

_Now there's the Damon I know. _

Damon grumbled, quickening his pace. "But you don't know me, Bonnie. Not all of me." Then he pulled out the thick, seemingly angry phallus from its confinement.

Bonnie felt like she died a little. Was Damon really doing this for her? She's dazed when he starts shifting his fingers up and down the inches of his manhood, over velvety skin and veins…

"Scared of my big bird, Bonnie?" Damon asked with half-lidded eyes, reverting his eyes back to the cage. He bit his lip and growled.

Bonnie tweeted helplessly as Damon's hand began to move lightning speed.

**MUST PROCREATE. **

Bonnie was almost tempted to turn away. Almost...

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><p>After reaching what he thought was his much deserved climax, Damon lazily got up from the bed to go to the bathroom, only to spot the Little Bird resting her head against her fluffy chest. He briefly wondered if a bird could self love itself to sleep. Finally clean, Damon returned to his miniature slave. He traced the golden linings of the cage. "Oh, <em>Bonnie<em>..."

"Hmm, is that what I think it is?" Stefan's voice interrupted the post-masturbation silence.

"Go away."

The new presence in the room instantly awakened Bonnie. Only a while ago, all she could see and think about was Damon's love meat in his hands that she probably fainted in ecstasy... or she was too full to actually do anything else. From what it looked like, Damon was still half naked, but he was caught up in an argument with his brother. _Surprise, surprise._ Now she has to listen to this like she hasn't had enough of it already...

"You actually named the bird 'Bonnie' too?" Stefan teased, the expression on his face a mixture of amusement and affection. "Now that's priceless."

"What I do with my bird is none of your business," Damon said, standing up, clenching his fists.

_OK, maybe this was the type of argument she wanted to listen to..._

"And I thought _I_ was the voyeur…"

"You just want to snack on my new pet, you pathetic excuse of a vampire."

Stefan merely lifted a brow. "Wait till Bonnie hears about this."

"Don't you dare," Damon warned seriously, his expression fierce.

Then it dawned on Bonnie. What, Damon didn't _know_? Then he was just pretending it was her to get off...? What the...? She swallowed nervously, her thread of a throat cackling in disappointment. She tuned out the childish banter between the brothers and she tweeted in surprise when Damon zoomed in front of her, grabbed the cage from the end table albeit cautiously, and brought her to Stefan. He shoved the cage on Stefan's chest, and as Bonnie gazed at Damon, she saw the flash of sadness on his features, but the prideful dick chose his open loathe for Stefan instead of keeping her.

"You can have it back, you sick fuck!" Damon barks angrily and slammed the door close on their faces.

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><p>"I don't want the fucking bird…" Stefan tried, but the door didn't look like it was going to open soon. He rolled his eyes and brought the cage back to his room. He headed for the window and opened it. Before he opened the cage to free the green bird, he peered closer for a moment and saw that the little thing was trembling in fear. Pity was suddenly painted all over his face. "Sorry for frightening you," he apologized. "My brother has always been the childish one. He hates getting caught."<p>

In the meantime, Bonnie was bewildered. Thoughts of Damon and his rock hard member, her name, her situation, twirled inside her head. She couldn't get over any of it. The more she remembered the way he arched his hips while breathing her name, the sadder she felt that he didn't really know it was her. Why she was disappointed she tried to blame on her ego...

**SEEDS.**

_I'm hungry. Damn._

**FOOD.**

"You're a strange one," Stefan voiced out, unknowingly saying the same thing Damon did a while back. "Wait a second... _Bonnie_." He gave her a lopsided smile and disappeared.

The door was still closed, so Bonnie assumed he left through the window. To her surprise, after about 30 seconds of starvation, Stefan returned, and in a blink of an eye, her cage was filled with berries. The hunger that consumed her was simply overwhelming. She tweeted her thanks to Stefan and started pecking on the reds and blues.

**SWEET JESUS.**

_No wonder Elena loves you so much. _

"I knew you'd love 'em," Stefan said, then dragged a chair towards the window to watch her eat. "You know... I actually bought this cage for Damon before we turned. He always had an obsession with birds."_  
><em>

**BLUEBERRIES!**

"But I never really got to give it to him, well, because a bitch named Katherine got in the way."

_Aww_, Bonnie mused. Stefan sure loved to talk. _Oh, is that a motherfucking cherry?_

"When we were younger, I always thought Damon felt like a cage bird. He had this urge to fly, but didn't know how." Stefan's shoulders sagged. "And with what's happening with Elena, I feel we're... drifting apart even more."

_Stefan and his endless dramatical tirades. _Bonnie mentally rolled her eyes. Why can't they admit it? They love the chase. They love the drama. _I'm a bird and I don't think I can ever eat an earthworm. _

"You know, Bonnie..." Stefan said. "Damon isn't all bad. He's actually a nice guy. Just give him a chance..."

Maybe he was talking to himself, but Bonnie feels like Stefan was talking to her as well.

"He'll be a great owner, you'll see," he continued, his voice encouraging.

_OK, that went well._ So her secret was still safe. _Shit._ Bonnie looked at the lock of the cage. Why did they lock it? Did her wisdom reflect on her bird persona that they thought she would escape?_ Paranoid, controlling blood-suckers._

"But for now... You'll realize I'm the better man."

_Everything was always a competition with these two,_ Bonnie thought. She expected Stefan to give her more berries or change her water supply, but once again, she's left to be a breathless bird, gaping helplessly at the transpiring scene before her.

Stefan leaned back against the chair, shivered a little when the soft breeze blew in, unzipped his pants, and pulled out another intimidating bird.

_Oh dear lord…_

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><p><strong>AN:<strong> Sorry guys, for the double whammy of Salvatores jacking off, but boys will be boys. :D Haha. Anyway, if the Bamon part was confusing, apparently, Damon was just 'pretending' it was Bonnie. Hmm. I'm not going to make this series into a Dragon Ball Z episode where an hour of happening transpires in 10 episodes. Hopefully, we can stretch this into a maximum of 5-6 chappies. :D THANK YOU AGAIN! Do feed the writer some love. ;) Till the next update!


	4. Chapter 4

**AN:** Excuse the errors on this one. Migraines aren't a writer's friend. Happy reading though! :)

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><p>Damon fumed for giving Stefan his pet, among other things. He couldn't bear to see St. Ripper with that knowing look in his eyes when he saw the cage, that he actually liked the planned gift he had for him a century ago, to know that he didn't throw it away because it was his. To top that, Stefan finally found out about his infatuation with Bonnie. <em>Fucking idiot<em>, he blamed himself.

When he heard Stefan close his bedroom door, Damon left the boarding house to go to his safe haven, the Mystic Grill. He wanted to be the 'mysterious dark figure on the bar who should be left alone because he was drinking with a snarl on his face' guy. He didn't even bother bringing his car, wanting to be as low-key as possible. He sat by the furthest corner of the counter and ordered a bottle of Scotch whiskey. When the bartender placed the bottle in front of him, Damon was more than generous to pay up.

"Ah, Johnny Walker," Damon said with resignation, and poured himself a glass. "My only friend." He downs it in one gulp and feels a small tinge of warmth in his belly. _Ah, the night has only begun!_

"Cheers to that," someone said beside him, a similar drink on his pale hand.

"Ugh. It's the Original," Damon immediately glared. "The Original Fuck-Up." He could hear a faint '_bad-um tss'_ in the back of his head.

Klaus clenched his jaw but smiled nonetheless. "I'll leave you alone with your drink then."

"Hurray." Damon poured himself another shot and gulped it down as fast as he could say 'alcoholic'. He gazed at the thick amber liquid before taking another mouthful. Why was he so angry anyway? He couldn't even remember. He took another shot. He decided that he probably needed to drown himself in whiskey so he'd stop feeling like…

His thoughts drifted away to paradise, but soon enough, the peace was broken by a loud sigh from a familiar brunette. Feeling sheepish, Damon made sure he ducked low enough so that the pair wouldn't realize he was there. Because most of the time, Blondie was too smart for her own good.

"Have you tried calling her?" Elena said. "She knows we're meeting tonight, right?"

Caroline probably rolled her eyes. "Of course I did. Her house is empty too."

Elena makes a 'hmm I'm thinking' sound. "Well, Bonnie's just probably busy. It's not like her to just up and leave."

"Well, she told me she wanted some time alone last weekend. Maybe she visited Lucy... what do you think?" Caroline scrunched her nose. "But her car is still back at her house."

"I'll try calling her." Thirty seconds. "Hm. Went straight to voicemail."

"I'll go ask around then," Caroline said, standing up. "Maybe she's on a group study session somewhere."

Before the blonde vampire could leave, Elena pulled her arm. "Wait a sec, Care. This is Bonnie. She wouldn't do this to us." She looked around, as if checking if anyone was listening to their conversation (which she failed at actually). "Let's wait a bit and if we don't hear from Bonnie, let's ask the guys to help us out." She leaned close to Caroline and whispered, "We _can't_ let people find out Bonnie is missing."

Caroline let out a deep breath. "Fine." She shook her head. "An hour, Elena. If I don't hear Bonnie's voice in an hour, I'm going to freak out."

Elena snorted in amusement. "Sometimes, Care Bear, you sound just like her boyfriend."

"Shut up," Caroline said with a roll of eyes.

Damon resumed drinking, although he was already halfway out the door by the time the girls finished their conversation. Bottle on his hand, he headed straight to the Bennett residence. He looked at the sturdy-looking, thick arm of tree near her room on the second floor. A grin on his face, he placed the bottle near a thick root and perched himself near the window.

"Damn curtains…" he muttered, and carelessly gave the glass a roundhouse kick. How he did it was a mystery. The glass broke with a clash, and judging from the silence that greeted him everywhere, it was safe to say that Judgey wasn't home. _What a safe neighborhood…_

"I'm not drunk," Damon thought aloud. He felt the subtle vibration of the invisible barrier of her home and he was careful not to touch it. God knows what weird booby trap waited for unsuspecting vampires such as he. _Booby trap. Boobs. Fuck. Bonnie has such an amazing rack. _Using a long branch he found on the grass a minute ago, he used it to slide those annoying curtains to the side.

The fragrance of Bonnie's room assaulted Damon's senses. He was tempted to wallow in it and cry... _yeah right._ Girl. Candles. Lavender. Traces of magic. Spices. Woman. He inhaled for a moment before scanning her room. Her laptop was open by the floor, its little led light flashing a 'sleep mode' signal. Her grimoire was wide open beside it. There was a bowl on the floor and a couple of other open vials of mixtures his Johnny Walker breath made hard to decipher. Her bedroom door was ajar. He spotted black lingerie near the bed. From what it looked like, the room was left without warning… as if she was in the middle of something, a spell, before she decided to disappear into nothing.

Damon felt like he had been staring at Bonnie's black bra for a whole minute, so he decided to turn away and analyze the results of his 'investigation', but not before he paused to memorize the vision of her bedroom.

There was a thick quilt on the foot of her queen-sized bed, probably from her Grams. Her closet was closed. She looked like the neat-freak type of girl –expect nothing less from miss sexy goody-two-shoes. From the shade of her wallpapers and beddings, it seemed like her favorite color was green._ Like her eyes, _he thought with a smile. _This was a girly room… with a bed made for fucking. _

A bit thwarted by his thoughts, Damon withdrew once again when something buzzed –an alarm of sorts, blasted from the room. He looked back inside and saw that the laptop flashed open, its light illuminating the room. A song suddenly started playing along with the alarm. There was a note on the laptop's screen: '**One hour left before you change back!**'

_'Hello, my friend, we meet again… It's been a while, where should we begin? __Feels like forever...'_

_Change back into her black lingerie set?_ Damon thought with a frown, his fantasies taking over. _Well, that was helpful. Thank you, dick._

_'Within my heart are memories, of perfect love that you gave to me…'_

He was about to jump back down when his peripheral vision caught a distinct green image on Bonnie's Google Chrome browser. It was a picture of a bird, a bird seemingly familiar. Déjà vu?

_'Oh I remember…'_

_It's that stupid Creed song, _Damon recognized. His eyes kept going back to the image of the bird though. He couldn't help but wonder, did Bonnie want a pet bird too?

_'When you are with me… I'm free…'_

Maybe he should give her the one he had at home, that is, if Stefan hadn't eaten it yet.

_'I'm careless, I believe… Above all the others, we'll fly… These brings tears to my eyes…'_

Damon was tempted to throw his boot inside her room just to stop the singer from whining, when he heard something other than the song. A distinct humming, possibly a sound clip attached to the image of the green bird…

_'My sacrifice…'_

"Oh fuck, I'm drunk," Damon slurred, and fell from the tree where he balanced himself, and landed on his ass. His blue eyes were wide with shock, not only because he fell on the grass and looked like a complete idiot, but because only a while ago, he apparently jacked off in front of Bonnie…?

_Holy..._

As the song resumed to play from her room, Damon stood up on shaky knees and started to dust himself off.

_How the fuck was he going to explain this shit…_

_**WHACK!**_

"DAMN!" Damon yelled in the dark as he felt a stinging pain pop him on the head. About to bare his fangs and snap a neck, he turned around and saw a rather small, old, wrinkly lady, armed with a broom on her hands. He took a while to process this information. "What the…"

_**WHACK!  
><strong>_

"THE FUCK, GRANDMA!" Damon howled angrily, trying to cover his head. He had healing powers, sure, but this fossil was a fucking ninja! "HEY!"

"What do you think you are doing snooping around in a young woman's bedroom?" the old woman scolded him, hitting his shoulders this time and arms. "You get away from my nice, young neighbor, you freak of nature! You pervert!"

"STOP IT…!"

_**WHACK**._

"BONNIE KNOWS WHO I AM… _OOOOWWW_! STOP, GODAMMIT!"

"And using such vulgar language in front of the elderly!" _**WHACK!**_

"HEY, NOT THE FACE, YOU OLD HAG! NOT THE FACE!"

"OLD HAG, YOU SAY! OLD HAG!"

_**WHACK, WHACK, WHACK!**_

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><p><strong>AN: <strong>We're going for 2 more chapters and we're done. Thanks for all the love and reviews! You guys are awesome! RnR! :D


	5. Chapter 5

**AN:** Glad you all liked the grandma fossil-ninja! I actually had the grandma from Tweety and Sylvester in mind, but yeah the one from Madagascar cuts it too, Zo! When you think about it, all berserk grandmas look alike...

And alas, we are nearing the end! This chapter is prelude to Bamon. :)

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><p>Bonnie was glad that she was finally alone. Stefan, who managed to change her opinion of him completely, left her in the living room after getting a phone call. And so far, her only dilemma was being unable to spot a wall clock anywhere. <em>Were they that literally timeless,<em> she thought bitterly. At least they weren't home if ever she transformed back.

**BATHE. **

_I'm starting to stink._

Bonnie hopped down from the swing to the small bowl of water in her cage. She started to clean herself and felt better. For a second she saw her reflection on the water and wondered why the guys never noticed her eyes, because they looked rather mossy green, like her real human eyes –or maybe they did, because they said she was 'strange'. _Perfect._ Even in bird form, she was 'strange'. Never pretty.

She was about to do a full bird bath when her whole body suddenly vibrated in alarm because the front door closed. She gasped in surprise, which, of course, came out as a tweet, or rather –a hum.

_Another predator_, she thought fearfully, and saw a dark blurred figure make its way towards her. Her nerves were on edge, her heart pounding insanely against her small chest, rocking her back and forth slowly. _This was danger._

"A bird…" the voice announced.

Bonnie almost regurgitated all the berries she ate. What the fuck was Klaus doing here? She gulped. Technically, Klaus walked in on her while she was taking a (bird) bath. When he stooped down to her line of sight, their eyes meeting in recognition, she's pretty breathless.

"A _beautiful _bird, that is," Klaus corrected himself. He stood there staring, as if unable to put a finger to the confusion that etched his handsome face. Blue-green eyes trained on her greens. He lifted the cage from the coffee table and proceeded to stare. "You are most interesting."

**FLUFF FEATHERS.**

"Actually, she's mine."

Bird and Original turned to the door and saw Damon there, who looked like he came form hell and back. "Don't ask." He crossed his arms across his chest. "Now would you mind telling me what the hell are you doing here with my bird?"

"She is yours?" Klaus asked with a frown. He made no motion to put the cage down.

"Yes," Damon answered quickly, a blush coloring his face. "Mine."

**MUST PROCREATE.**

Bonnie felt like fried chicken because of the heat in her loins, er, glands. Why did that sound so oddly… sweet? She felt concern flood her feathers when she watched Damon walk fearlessly towards the hybrid and clutched his hand over where Klaus gripped the loop of the cage.

"So unhand her now..."

Klaus tilts his head to the side, as if studying Damon. He hardened his grip on the cage. "No."

Damon's blue eyes flared anger. "Are you fucking kidding me?" he demanded. "You're trespassing!" He tugged the cage to his direction. "Go back to your family and leave my bird alone!"

Bonnie tweeted –partly in protest and in jest. Or dizziness.

**EARTHQUAKE.**

But Klaus only pulled it back. "I can go anywhere I please." He lifted a brow. "On the other hand, you are being very rude to your guest."

"You're not my guest, you're my enemy!" Damon growled. "Why are you here! If this is about your sister…"

"Mind your tongue, Salvatore. You are…"

"Give my fucking bird back to me!"

**EARTHQUAKE!**

Instead of revealing why he was there, Klaus paused to frown and look at the bird tweeting in what sounded like frustration. Damon followed suit.

"Oh, the poor little thing," Klaus remarked, his voice laced with utmost concern.

"Shut up–" Damon lost all thought when he, along with the Original, thoughtfully observed the green bird as it swayed back and forth (she wasn't even in the swing) and fell with a small thud against her heap of berries. Unable to tackle Klaus down the floor and give him a good beating because of the vice-like grip they had on the cage, all Damon could do was yell, "YOU KILLED HER!"

"You're the bloody bastard who wouldn't let the cage go!"

"SHH!" Damon hushed him, and leaned his right ear closer to the cage. "I think she just fainted."

"Ah, yes. I can hear her heartbeat."

"Get your hands off! It's all your fault!"

"If you haven't been so damn annoying…"

"If you haven't been here in the first place…!"

Despite their arguing, both of them still locked angry gazes at each other and still didn't release the cage. The two of them went back and forth with their verbal sparring and it was Stefan who casually walked in the living room. He put two and two together and opened the cage with skilled fingers and obtained the knocked-out bird. He walked to the window and blew his minty fresh breath into Bonnie's face. After two seconds, Bonnie blinked her eyes back into consciousness. Stefan then pricked his thumb on one of his fangs and wiped that drop of blood on her beak. She unconsciously licked it, and in a while, she's back on her two small feet.

**BERRIES. MINT. BERRIES!**

_Wait... What? _

"Stefan…" vampires behind him chorused in warning, wary of the open window beyond.

"Dearest bird," Stefan whispered, loud enough for all of them to hear. "You know too much. Fly away onto your freedom." He flicks his palm upward and in reaction, the bird jumps and flaps its wings.

**FREEDOM!**

"STEFAN!" Damon and Klaus shouted as they saw the bird afloat, but their midair pounce towards the youngest vampire was thwarted when something beat them to it. Their eyes widened when Stefan is suddenly on the floor on his back, a very naked Bonnie Bennett sprawled on top of him.

Stefan's eyes almost popped out of his skull. He found himself having a migraine because he found it confusing where to look –her perfect breasts or her flushed face. His brain kept telling him to focus on the former.

Klaus took his sweet time to analyze what just happened. He tilted his head to the side and made it a mission to memorize what the witch looked like without all her layers of clothing. _Bonnie looked rather... scrumptious._ All eyes turned to him when he actually voiced his thoughts out loud.

"THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING TO MY LITTLE BIRD!" Damon hollered at the top of his lungs, scooped Bonnie in his arms, zoomed back to his room and slammed the door shut.

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><p><strong>AN:<strong> RnR, lovelies! :)


	6. Chapter 6

**AN:** Thank you so much to everyone who has been generous with the reviews and the love! I'm thinking about writing a sequel to this, but I don't want to promise anything. Anyways... only Bamon up ahead. Happy reading! :D

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><p>"Put a spell on the door, Bonnie," Damon ordered as he laid her on the bed, his voice gentle and reassuring. He didn't want anyone inside –not Klaus, and definitely not his brother. Before Bonnie could get another word out, he disappeared somewhere in his closet.<p>

Bonnie is too dazed to talk, but nodded her head nonetheless. The power returns to her like fresh air after a hangover –strong and insistent on her senses. She was a witch at heart, and it doesn't take long until she followed Damon's request without a sweat. The magic was working a hundred percent now, but her humanity, not so much. She felt detached from her world, and if she didn't remember that she was in Damon's room watching him pleasure himself a few hours ago, she might as well have forgotten what happened. She also had the strangest craving for berries, but thinking about eating them made her want to vomit. Suddenly, a pale arm and a towel appeared in front of her. He dropped it on her lap when she did not bother to take it.

Damon didn't say anything. He was watching her closely. He tried to remember the first time he dabbled in animism, and the after-effects were not particularly attractive. He spent a few hours making a complete fool of himself, thinking he was a crow, and made a habit of collecting insects, frogs and garbage (which truthfully explains his distaste of Stefan's diet). He pivoted away from her, hoping to give her privacy, and tried to think of something snappy to say but came up with nothing. He wanted more than anything to hear her voice, have her go on Judgey mode on him –anything, but like Bonnie, it seemed like he, too was a bit caught up on his internal musings.

Her breasts still dangling out in the open, Bonnie's consciousness was still shifting from bird-brain to human brain. She looked at Damon, then back to the towel. She wanted to flap her wings, but only her thick dark hair was on her back and she was starting to feel itchy. "Ah…" she croaked. It felt weird to hear her voice. Bird time was definitely not what she expected, because she felt like she'd been dressed in feathers her whole life. That, and her nose felt stuffy too –like she'd been snorting in bird seeds for years. "Ah… Ah… CHOOO!" she sneezed shamelessly.

Bonnie's ears twitched when she heard the vampire clicking his tongue disapprovingly, and before she can think of anything else, she found herself sitting in his bathroom, her hands between her legs, feeling up the cold steel of his bathtub. When Damon leaned over somewhere near her feet, she gasped and pasted herself on the side, but to her surprise, he only opened the faucet. When the strong current of water hit her toes, the fear had left her, and all she could do was giggle in delight.

Damon stepped back for a moment and absorbed the sight in front of him, although, of course, her nudity was more than distracting even if mixed with nostalgia. A smile formed his face then. It was positive –Bonnie definitely thought she was still a bird. Well, a big part of her still did. Her soft, nervous laughter was like mind fuck –the good kind, that is. He wondered if it was the same way she laughed when she was truly happy. His chest clenched with emotion as he watched her reach out to touch the water with her fingers, the deep blush on her face a beautiful contrast to the brightness of her smile. He felt a twist on his gut, because when the fuck was the last time he saw her this blissful?

All sorts of emotions filled his being: sadness, remorse, pity, desire, curiosity, longing, happiness… Bonnie was still so engrossed with the way the water went through the creases on her fingers that she didn't feel that he had placed himself beside the tub, a bottle of his shower gel in his hands. He put a generous amount on his palm and matted the thick soap on her shoulders. He bit the insides of his cheek when she stiffened and turned her head to look at him.

_Let me take care of you. _"You're like a baby," Damon said instead, and continued to lather the foam on her back, her neck. He washed her arms, her collarbone, but he avoided touching her breasts, as much as his dick wanted to. He reached down the floor and got his shampoo. He rubbed it between his palms and then applied it on her hair. All the while, Bonnie kept her eyes on him, and he was certain he was doing a good job not getting any of the shampoo beyond her eyebrows. He avoided her gaze still, feeling like _he_ was the one in the nude.

Then he took the showerhead from the wall and turned it on. He knelt back to his previous position and carefully washed her hair. Damon swallowed the thick lump in his throat as he watched the water cascade all over her face and skin, her eyes close, a cute frown on her forehead, her plump mouth open…. _God, she's gorgeous. _

Determined to finish the task at hand, he then squeezed the water from her thick mane. He now proceeded to apply some conditioner to the tips of her hair. Bonnie now found her knees more interesting than his obvious display of weirdness. He sat back on the ball of his feet and smiled at his work –she looked sparkly clean… and damn sexy. He decided to let the hair conditioner steep for a minute or two when he remember something.

"Your, uh… neighbor," Damon said, his voice coming out hoarse. "Had she known how to use her broom wisely, she could have killed me tonight." He then told her the story about how he had been caught by the old snarky woman earlier. While Damon spoke, Bonnie gaped at him with her huge green orbs, and it didn't take long until she's giggling all over again, burying her face on her knees. He felt proud of himself for making her laugh. "We should let her in on the patrolling at night. I bet she can kill more rogue vampires than you and I combined."

Bonnie laughed again, probably with all the imagery he's been giving her.

He just looked at her, completely enthralled. "Bonnie…" The urge to pull her close was getting stronger by the second. Her glistening skin was not helping either. "You should rinse your hair." His nerves were on edge –and it was probably because of the way her eyes pierced through him. Or it was because she was in his bathroom, naked, good enough to fuck. Bare Bonnie, by far, was the most erotic thing he has ever seen in his un-life. He turned away, but she smiles at him, and that action alone was enough to render him motionless. The breath hitched on his throat when she took the showerhead from the waters and handed it over to him.

_Must be the bird brain, wanting to be taken cared of…_ Damon told himself, but took it upon himself to wash her hair again. This time though, his other hand trailed on her shoulder. He almost had her in this awkward half hug, pressing her to him, despite having the lower half of his body outside the tub. He groaned when her willowy hand clutched on the dark of his shirt, and she turns her dark head towards him, and once again, her haunting green eyes are back on his. When she bit her lower lip, Damon licks his own and unable to stop himself any longer, he dove in to kiss her when a loud pounding disrupted their moment.

"DAMON!" _**BLAG-BLAG-BLAG!**_ "Where the hell is Bonnie? Stefan told me you brought her in there!"

Damon and Bonnie gawked at each other, jolted back to reality.

_Bonnie's still naked. _

_He's still Damon._

_**BLAG-BLAG-BLAG!**_

"She's with me," Damon half shouted from the bathroom, his voice confused. Like Bonnie, he was unable to tear his attention from her. He still had her secured in his arms, and from what it looked like, she wasn't complaining. He couldn't help but whisper, "_What took me this long to see you_?"

Bonnie raised a brow at him, as if to ask a sarcastic, _You have a bird fetish?_

_**BLAG-BLAG.**_ "Bonnie, are you ok! DAMN IT, DAMON!" _**BLAG.**_ "OPEN…" _**BLAG.**_ "THIS." _**BLAG.**_ "FUCKING." _**BLAG.**_ "DOOR!" _**BLAG!**_

Too overwhelmed by the naked muse on his tub and in his arms, her wide eyes, and the 'Bonnie revelation' that dawned on him -something which reminded him of snow days when he was younger, Damon growled and turned around. He marched to the pounding sound and turned the door knob open but it didn't budge. He tried yanking it off, but he remembers the spell.

_**BLAG-BLAG-BLAG!**_

"Stop abusing my door, Blondie!" Damon warned, his separation from Bonnie already giving him a headache. "She's in here with me. She's safe."

Caroline paused. "Open the door, Damon."

Damon clenched his jaw. "The door is rigged with a spell, Caroline. Bonnie… IS… FINE!"

"BONNIE!" Caroline insisted.

Damon felt like he was going to explode, but all the anxiety and frustration left his body when a soft touch of hand landed on his wrist. He looked to his right and saw Bonnie there, a shy smile on her face.

"C-Caroline," Bonnie whispered, her voice raspy. "I'm…" she looked into his eyes. "I'm with Damon."

Caroline was immediately silenced.

"I'm with Damon," she repeated, and it sounded good to her own ears. And by the look on Damon's face, it was great news to him as well.

_Was it this easy, the transition? _

_Maybe it was, if we chose for it to be._

Damon tugged her to him and wrapped his arms and hands all over her towel-covered body. "Bonnie?"

"Yes?"

"Can I kiss you?"

Bonnie nodded with a smile. "Please."

It's a simple, chaste kiss of Johnny Walker and berries.

But somehow, it feels like their world has changed forever.

...

...

The End.

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><p><strong>AN:<strong> And that concludes this mini-series, folks. Thank you for reading! RnR!

P.S. If you know me well enough by now... ;)


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